Feb
2013
Being Honest
Hey guys! Week’s half over! My mom’s birthday was yesterday and we had a fabulous family dinner at Tyler Florence’s restaurant– it’s one of the best in town. Go here if you come to SF! Always nice to have a birthday excuse to celebrate! They’re famous for their fried chicken, so we got that, some apps, sides, and the most amazing chocolate pudding cake (that everyone was almost too full to eat). YUM. Still full.
Today I thought that it’s time for some confessions…
I’ve been doing some blog-soul-searching lately and it’s time to share a “what’s in my head” and “being honest with you” type post. My one-year blogiversary was January 1st, so now into 13 months of blogging, I feel like I’ve learned a lot, that my thoughts of myself and my blogging have changed, and that I might change directions a little.
Confession #1: I realized over the past few months that I feel uncomfortable labeling myself as a healthy living blogger.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE learning about nutrition, staying as healthy as possible, and exercising. But, let me be honest. I’m no expert. I like nutrition, but I’m learning along with the rest of us so I feel like I have no business blogging about it like an expert (IIN grad, RD, etc). I love healthy meals, but mine very rarely come out pretty in photographs. I love to workout and try new exercises, but I am def not a role model and my workouts are low-intensity and not something worth bragging about. They’re just what works for me and posting them sometimes makes me feel guilty that I can’t say I went on a 10 mile run instead.
Also…..the more I focused on taking photos of my food and obsessing over what healthy means and trying to make it tangible in my life enough to blog about it….the less healthy I felt. I actually gained weight last year as I started blogging…and I think that was somewhat due to blogging making me think more about what foods I was eating (aka, think about food all the time!), wanting to bake more just so I could post about it, and make me always feel like I’m trying too hard to keep up. I do better when I focus less on this stuff and just let it become a part of my regular life.
Confession #2: When I went to the FoodBuzz conference in October, I had a blast….but I also realized that I’m not and never will be a food blogger. I love food, of course. I love cooking. But I like following recipes, not creating my own. I’m not actually a very good cook, I just like making very simple and easy dishes that usually aren’t worth sharing (I mean grilled chicken and broccoli is usually what I eat and not very blog-able). I sometimes get frustrated and stressed trying to take photos of what I cook….sometimes I love it, but labeling myself as a Food Blogger makes me feel obligated to cook and photograph daily…and that just doesn’t feel right to me. The people I met at the conference were all so passionate about food and cooking and it just wasn’t me. I didn’t feel authentic. I like reading food blogs, I just will never be one.
here’s what I had for breakfast….creature of habit and sorta boring, always
Confession #3: BUT despite all this…….over the past year, I’ve grown to LOVE blogging. I LOVE connecting with all of you. You all make my day so much better. Your comments, your feedback, reading your posts and learning about your lives, has made my life so much fuller.
When I started this blog, I was insanely bored at work, had a ton of extra alone time because Jared was training for the Ironman and always out biking or running, and I was craving a creative outlet like none other. Some, but not all of these have changed. Work’s busier. Jared’s not training anymore and home much more often (will have to give you guys an update on his shoulder surgery recovery….it’s slower than expected because the doctor tightened it so much….but he is still getting better every day). And I do still crave a creative outlet. I’d feel like something was missing if I stopped blogging. I really do love it (to my surprise! when i first heard about people sharing their lives and photographing their food on the internet like 6 years ago, i thought it was such a silly concept and i would never get so personal with strangers like that, but ha….things change!)
I LOVE taking photos…and yes, you’ve probably noticed my horrible iPhone-only photos the past 3 months (ugh), but I’m proud to say that as of yesterday, I have a brand new DSL camera (thanks, Dad! nice to have a professional photographer father who upgrades his cameras often enough to pass me down almost-new ones). I plan to play with it this weekend and can’t wait!
So, I want to keep blogging. I just want to take off my “healthy living” label. I feel phony. I feel “not good enough.” And I don’t feel authentic.
Where will I got from here? Keep reading and I’ll tell you what I’m thinking….
Confession #4: A couple months after starting the blog, I started disliking the name, Blueberry Smiles, and thinking it was a silly name for a blog that didn’t really make sense or tell you about what I was writing about. I never changed it because it seemed too late and I couldn’t think of anything else anyways. But now, I think maybe I had some foresight…..I do want to blog about “Smiles,” about the things that make me happy, the brief moments in our lives, the highlights and things that are important to me, the things that make me feel lucky to live life….as a reminder when things get bleak and life is a little harder as it inevitably will be at some point (I really think life is often like a wave, some high points, some inevitable low points, but it all gradually gets better or changes)…..and I do still really like food and want to cherish food, blueberries included, as a celebration of our every day lives. Blueberries to me are symbols of nature at it’s best– they’re so little, so nutrient rich, such a burst of sweetness, and so natural. So the more of “blueberries” in any form in our lives the better.
I probably could have just changed what I wrote about and not wrote this post explaining it to you…and you wouldn’t have noticed a difference. Who knows.
But what I’m thinking is…..
I want to keep sharing my life on the blog, but I will to be more authentic. I’ll stop trying to talk about my workouts or food (unless they’re worth it) and be someone I’m not. I think I’m more interesting of a person when I’m more natural anyways. And as hungry runner girl said a couple weeks ago when talking about blogging, “blog about something you’re passionate about.”…..and I want to get back into that. I know I missed a couple days of my “february thanks” (well i thought of them, just haven’t posted them yet), but I love doing this. I love posting highlights of my day. I love posting interesting articles or things I read. I love posting about what I’ve learned about ironman training, about new places I go, about dog behavior, about life, and sharing my dog toy charity with you guys.
That was my long-winded confession of what’s in my head lately. I hope you’ll keep reading. And now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I feel like I’ll have an easier and more frequent blogging schedule from now on. And I STILL owe you a Leibster post that I’ve half-written and need to finish. Look for it on Friday 
But I’m curious about your thoughts….
– What has blogging taught you about yourself so far?
– How has your blog changed since you first started it?
– What do you like best about blogging?
– Do you ever struggle with authenticity?
Alex @ therunwithin
February 6, 2013 at 10:06 am (102 days ago)I think this is awesome that you have found why you want to blog and what works for you. I think you being you is all we want to read about, or at least for me. I agree a lot with what you say about this community, a lot.
Rebecca
February 6, 2013 at 10:38 am (102 days ago)totally, thanks Alex
Michelle @ Eat Move Balance
February 6, 2013 at 10:07 am (102 days ago)Of course, I’ll keep reading. I enjoy your blog–and just to let you know, never felt that it was not authentic. But do whatever you need to do to keep blogging enjoyable for you! That’s the most important thing.
Rebecca
February 6, 2013 at 10:38 am (102 days ago)thanks, michelle
Becky @ Olives n Wine
February 6, 2013 at 10:14 am (102 days ago)This is a great post, Rebecca! At some point we all need to step back and evaluate what WE enjoy writing about and how to best portray ourselves online. I love that you are trying to be authentic and true to yourself. Although I’ve only been blogging a few months I’ve already had to realize that I can’t post every single day. It’s not possible for schedule and I would be crazy-stressed if I held myself to those ideals. I can’t wait to see where you take this blog in the future
mariafalls
February 6, 2013 at 10:29 am (102 days ago)I feel like I could have written this post about a year and a half ago, because I felt the exact same way! I used to have a “healthy living blog” too, but I felt the labeling also came with a pressure to be a “perfect” HL blogger – beautiful photos, killer workouts, fascinating recipes, etc. I felt phony every time my husband and I went to In and Out Burger or I took a week off from the gym. So I quit that blog and started a new one with no parameters. In fact, I just wrote a post today about the pressure I used to face with my old blog and healthy living – funny how a silly little blog can make you do crazy things
Anyway, we should meet soon for tea/coffee. I’m down in the south bay, but we can always meet in the middle!
Rebecca
February 6, 2013 at 10:42 am (102 days ago)Thanks, Maria…..It’s hoenstly so nice to know that I’m not the only one! I just read your post from today and it is totally spot on to how I was feeling. Let’s def grab coffee/tea soon! My sched is flexible enough to meet you in PA or wherever you are now…..let me know your sched!
Mollie @Sprinkles of Life
February 6, 2013 at 10:54 am (102 days ago)I love this post! Good for you for being honest with yourself. I struggle too with this. Mainly, not posting on a regular schedule or setting up good stages for my photos. but at the end of the day, it’s just me. I don’t do this to make money, I do it for the connections and to document our life. My little online journal!
And PS- so jealous of your dad’s camera hand me downs. I absolutely LOVE my DSLR! It’s my baby!
Rebecca
February 7, 2013 at 10:36 am (101 days ago)i know, im soooo lucky with that! i’m terrified of breaking yet another camera though- haha!
Brittany
February 6, 2013 at 11:20 am (102 days ago)When I first started blogging I wanted to fit the blog mold. I quickly discovered this was NOT going to work. I discovered that while I do blog a LOT about food, and running, and whatever other workouts I enjoy..I also blog about random daily musings and I find it’s a fun outlet to share my life with anyone that may want to read. Healthy living isn’t JUST about food and exercise! Living healthy is about the balance between that and between a healthy mind and lifestyle!
I can’t say I love my blog url, in fact I think it’s kind of douchy when I say it out loud..but I do like that it’s a neutral name and doesn’t pertain to one certain thing. Blogging about what makes you happy is definitely the way to go, but you have to stop discrediting your workouts and your meals..who cares if you don’t run 10 miles a day ( a lot of people don’t!) Find what makes you unique and people will always keep reading!
Mollie @Sprinkles of Life
February 6, 2013 at 12:00 pm (102 days ago)Haha! Brittany, I don’t think your blog name sounds douchey at all! I literally laughed out loud when I read your statement! It’s cute and catchy! If it helps my boyfriend says my blog name sounds like a reference to peeing! wtf?? lol
Rebecca
February 7, 2013 at 10:36 am (101 days ago)Thank you! Loved your comment. And true about discrediting…I think I read too many of the “extremist” blogs and have to stop that.
Jessica @ Fit Talker
February 6, 2013 at 11:50 am (102 days ago)I found myself nodding along as I was reading. I totally get it!
I too have struggled with how to identify myself on my blog. I definitely started it to talk about spinning and fitness, but over time that has changed. Now I write about whatever comes to me and just hope that I don’t lose too many people that way.
Often times I feel like a lot of the “healthy living” blogs end up just making me feel bad about myself, or to me they come across as written by someone who is trying to make themselves sound great, almost bragging. Maybe it’s the truth, maybe it’s my issue, who knows.
Definitely be true to yourself, that’s always the most important. And unless you start posting about details of pregnancy, I’ll be a loyal reader
Jodea @ chillichocolatelove.com
February 6, 2013 at 2:39 pm (102 days ago)I’ll keep reading whatever you blog about
The worst thing to do is put pressure on yourself – this is meant to be fun! You have a very balanced life as far as I can see, and it’s kind of nice to read a blog where someone isn’t running 10 miles a day or bench pressing their body weight!
I’m still new to the whole blogging thing. It did make me laugh when someone asked if I cook fancier things knowing people will see it on the blog! No! I wouldn’t dream of doing stuff to make it interesting for other people. I do it because I love it!
Rebecca
February 7, 2013 at 10:33 am (101 days ago)so true– the only reason to blog is because you love it
Cacmuffin
February 6, 2013 at 3:10 pm (102 days ago)I absolutely love your blog you have inspired me to eat more healthy just from all your post so know that you ARE creating awareness and I think that’s great! I too love learning along with you about nutrition. I am in undergrad studying nutrition here on the east coast. I can’t wait to see what comes next! Thanks for all your post!
Rebecca
February 7, 2013 at 10:33 am (101 days ago)thank you! your comment made me so happy!
helennaturally
February 6, 2013 at 4:45 pm (102 days ago)I love your blog and the honesty you have spoke on today! I too felt myself in the same situation after a year of my blog. I tried to be a food person (love to cook and create but not feasible for me daily), a healthy living blog with clean eating and exercise, and finally I decided to just be a happy living blog. Because that is what is most important to me – a happy life!! Good for you on decide in to be your own true person on your blog
Rebecca
February 7, 2013 at 10:33 am (101 days ago)so true! and you’ve done a great job with balance in yours
Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets
February 6, 2013 at 4:53 pm (102 days ago)I think change is a good thing, and if you’re not open to it, then you’re closing a lot of doors for yourself. Good for you with being willing to grow and do you. You gotta stick with what works for, what makes you feel good too and be true to yourself.
I love doing the food, but I also find it can cause pressure to eat right, pretty, etc, so whenever I start feeling that way, I try to showcase the reality of my eating (it’s not always pretty and it’s not always 100% healthy).
I for one will keep reading your blog, no matter what you write about.
Rebecca
February 7, 2013 at 10:32 am (101 days ago)thanks, meghan!!
Alysha (@shesontherun)
February 6, 2013 at 6:53 pm (102 days ago)I love how honest you are! I don’t think each of us needs to fit in a niche.
Rebecca
February 7, 2013 at 10:31 am (101 days ago)thanks, alysha!
Sara @my less serious life
February 7, 2013 at 2:49 am (101 days ago)love this post. there are a lot of things you discover about yourself through blogging. mine has evolved over the last 2 years based on what i enjoy, don’t enjoy, and the ebb and flow of my life. so i get it! also i totally relate to ‘ill never be a food blogger’. i don’t make my own recipes, either, and i have no desire to. following recipes is the way to go and there is certainly no shame in that!
Rebecca
February 7, 2013 at 10:32 am (101 days ago)i totally think of you as a food blogger (the good kind of course!) your meals are always so drool-worthy!
Apples and Arteries
February 7, 2013 at 4:08 am (101 days ago)Loved this. I feel like I’m still finding my way with the blog. I always enjoy writing about everyday life/happenings vs. really planned/particular things.
Rebecca
February 7, 2013 at 10:29 am (101 days ago)yeah totally true…and blogging’s been such an evolving learning experience
bananasforyogaandyogurt
February 7, 2013 at 6:00 am (101 days ago)I look forward to the new edge you are giving to your blog! I thought it was great before too!
I’m not sure what exactly defines a healthy living blogger, but when I was reading your confessions, I couldn’t help but think your blog is healthy! There is no law that says if you do not run 10 miles, than you have not worked out. Never, ever feel guilty about a workout- low-intensity or high-intensity, it’s still considered a workout. You could have motivated so many people! Heck, I can’t run 10 miles, but I know that working out makes me feel good, because I know I’m doing something for my heart, mind, and body.
I believe that doing what makes you happy is healthy too, I’m happy for you and your blog!
Blogging is teaching me how to not judge myself.
Rebecca
February 7, 2013 at 10:29 am (101 days ago)Totally true! And I like that about learning to not judge yourself– the blog world is so supportive, that totally makes sense
Anna Smith-James (@AnnaTheApple88)
February 7, 2013 at 6:26 am (101 days ago)Never feel under pressure to blog in a certain way. I enjoy reading your posts because you have a lovely personality and an interesting life. Who cares if you don’t run 20miles every day or don’t bake cupcakes every week, I didn’t notice at all! I just enjoy your blog, labels aside!
Rebecca
February 7, 2013 at 10:28 am (101 days ago)Thanks, Anna!
Laurie @ Love, Laugh, Laurie
February 7, 2013 at 7:17 am (101 days ago)I went through these same thoughts a few months after blogging. I realized I wanted to talk about a variety of things (mainly my dog), so it was weird to label myself as healthy living. Now I just blog
Rebecca
February 7, 2013 at 10:28 am (101 days ago)i like that!
Dana @ Conscious Kitchen Blog
February 7, 2013 at 9:29 am (101 days ago)Being honest and natural is the best way to blog. I know exactly what you mean about not feeling like you fit into a “category” like healthy living or food. I started my blog as a food blog, but lately, I’ve had so many other things I want to write about. I’ll hit my blog anniversary in March and feel it’s probably time for some change as well. I’ll definitely keep reading and enjoy hearing about your adventures in your life.
Rebecca
February 7, 2013 at 10:28 am (101 days ago)thanks, dana!
Cinnamon
February 7, 2013 at 9:57 am (101 days ago)I love when people blog about stuff like this. Honestly when I first started blogging, I felt the pressure to be a “healthy living, food type blogger” as well, but it wore off fast b/c those are just not my passions. It IS hard though b/c that tends to be the majority of what I read. So I made a conscious effort to go out there and discover different TYPES of blogs (gosh there are SO MANY) that align with my interests and passions…writing, photography, faith…whatever it is….I found that has made it easier for me to be more “myself” on my blog and not live up to some silly expectation that I made up for myself for really no reason. I really enjoy your blog and your outlook and your posts (and you always have the BEST questions) so I really think you are on the right track .
Rebecca
February 7, 2013 at 10:27 am (101 days ago)Thank you!! I think you’ve done a good job about blogging about all things “you” and that’s why I like reading yours
Theresa @ aspoonfulofsunshine
February 7, 2013 at 3:34 pm (101 days ago)Rebecca, I have missed hearing from you! But I can totally relate from where you are coming from, I have been a little removed from the blog world recently myself. I think life evolves and it is only natural for your blog to evolve along with it
I’m sure whatever you chose to post, it will be amazing and I can’t wait to see what you have got up your sleeve!
Luv What You Do
February 7, 2013 at 8:44 pm (101 days ago)I love how honest you were in your writing! For me, those are the toughest posts to write. But you said it so beautifully and I am excited that you are going to continue to blog about happiness and smiles. I think that we, as people, continue to grow and evolve and it only makes sense that our blogs do too. I also think that in the blogging world labels aren’t necessary. One day I share a healthy vegan recipe and the next day it’s all about the cake batter. I’m not sure if that makes me a healthy lifestyle blogger or not but that is my life.. Like you, I’m a huge fan of taking photos and connecting with new people. I find you to be very genuine and I look forward to continuing to read your blog. Have a great weekend!
Rebecca
February 8, 2013 at 12:33 pm (100 days ago)Thank you….loved reading your comment and im so happy to know im not the only one who feels like this!
Jorie
February 8, 2013 at 8:43 am (100 days ago)This post reallllllly resonated with me, Rebecca! I started to hate my title a few months after blogging, too. I thought it sounded childish and too girly girly. I’m still thinking about revamping or just moving to a blog that is my name. We’ll see. Blogging is such tough work and when you’re putting so much of your life on the internet, you definitely want to make sure you’re putting your best foot forward. It’s a tricky balance.
I will still be reading and I love the direction you’re thinking of going!
Rebecca
February 8, 2013 at 12:30 pm (100 days ago)I love the name of your blog, Jorie! but i know what you mean. It’s been so nice reading the comments and knowing that I’m not the only one who feels like this
Amy @ Healthy and Fit for Real
February 8, 2013 at 5:46 pm (100 days ago)I think I struggle a little each day with what I’m writing about on my blog. I just try to not stress about it and write about things that I’m passionate about. Who needs “labels” right??